Monday, June 21, 2010
Disclaimer: Dont read this post, if you hate the word, fvck. It's gonna get a lil' vulgar in here, so, bear with it. Simple as that.

:D Hey.

Today is Monday, first day of the week. Tomorrow will be Tuesday, -.-

FML, cos' idk what the fvck i doing, -.-

My life has been confusing lately. Veryvery confusing, /:

FML, D:

Things happened, yet, i'm supposedly have to look forward to other things in life, & dont look back. The best part, yet ? I'm supposed to fake a fvcking smile, :[ which i cant, so, it sucks.

My long-lost cousin, for 10 years, found me on facebook, :] Yayy me ? Supposed to be. But, my fvcked up mum scolded me, -.- Personal things happened, -.- dark past, no one knows, except a few. FML, :[

Then, messaged me through facebook, that my ______ is living with her... I was fvcking shocked, like woah. The bast part is, my mum doesnt have any clue about it. What happens next ?

I literally broke down. Luckily, my fvcked up family hasnt come back... My cousin also had included in his number, &, now, i'm contemplating the decision of whether i should call him or not. &&, trust me, all this years of my mum's efforts trying to make me hate him, failed. I'm his fvcking ________, for goodness sake. I mean, whatthefvck, why am i suposed to hate him ? No matter what, he's still my ______. I wanna meet up with him, i fvcking care if my mum knows or allows, or whatsoever. It's been a long time, and, because of my mum, he doesnt wants to come back to our family. FML.

Ohk, i may seem over him, but, no. It hurts to see your friends having a whale of time with their _______, while, i'm stuck here with my fvcked up life, without him. i'm still deciding if i should call him. arghh, FML seriously. D:<

Bball training was a mess today. especially the match with kranji. we shamefully lost to them. Ohk, i received alot of critisism from some people. Some of them was true, while some was plain wrong. FML. Ohk, i received critisism before, but, this was te worst one i ever heard.

Even if i did fvcking defended & attacked properly, some people said i didnt. The rest saw it, for fvck's sake, ohk !? Like whatthefvck !? Then, wow, guess what ? It seemed to me like i was the fvcking one spoiling the entire fvcking match ! Ohk, it was fvckingly presumed, that, thanks to me, the whole team was pulled down. arghhh... i did saved us some fvcking balls, ohk !? Ohk, i didnt start the fvcking critisism, ohk !? While i was resting, reflecting on the fvcking match, i was also fvckingly criticised. Ohk, i didnt pass properly, or was not alert enough. True. But, i fvcking remembered defending properly, tapping the ball away from the ball. i fvckingly stayed behind at the kranji's side to defend, while the others tried to save the ball. Soon enough, kranji became the attacker. by then, i had fvcking prepared myself, ohk !? I blocked the fvcking ball. but, then, again, i was reprimanded by people, saying that i should not have stayed behind at their zone, but, also attacked, or else, we would still have the ball, instead of the kranji girls. Then, who's gonna fvcking defend their area if they have the ball !? Everything i did was wrong today, &, it sucks real bad, to be scolded for doing things correctly, and, also, to be scolded for doing what i didnt fvckingly did in the first place !?


FML.

I put my guard, pride away, and fvcking apologised. Then, the first sentence of the text fvcking pissed me off. i dont wanna say what it was, but, it was fvcking ... urghh.

Whatever.

Fvck, i dont feel like elaborating anymore.

i'm not gonna care a fvck about critisism anymore. i'm gonna stand on my own two fvcking feet, and just play the game. just play it, i'm not gonna fvcking care if i'm wrongly criticised or what. i'm gonna do my best, &, try to get into the main team, no matter what. :D

sometimes, i wonder if this fvcking life of mine is worth living. i'm stupid, not de chio type of people, irrtating, an extreme bitch, &, more... i'm not perfect. i hate my life. every time, i do something wrong or right, at home or in school, i just received more and more scoldings and critisism. this sucks alot, ohk ? isnt it better if i just jump off a building and die ? maybe i should. the world will be a much better place without me, i guess. at least, that's what people tell me.

urghh, great, another matter to decide.

FML.

&&, i learnt another thing.

Sometimes, your friends are not your friends.




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